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  • David

    August 10, 2021 at 6:07 am

    I am not really afraid of loosing my old self. My old (false) self was not that good to begin with. I like my new identity. What I struggle with is completely living into my new (true) self. I fear loosing control and doing something that is out of my control.

    I use to think I was two people living in one body like two dogs fighting in a pen. The challenge was a battle between two natures and the answer seemed to be which one I fed the most. Too some extent this is true, but the problem is the other person (dog) didn’t die. In fact, he seemed to get stronger. The closer we draw to Christ, the harder Satan will fight to keep his hold on us.

    As I struggled with my sanctification and the second half of the Gospel my Holy Discontent grew, but my sense of brokenness by God did not reach the point of surrender and submission. I was still trying to control the process and the outcomes. More recently, I have grown weary of that struggle and I am beginning to understand the necessity of surrender and submission. Yesterday’s Text said it all, “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6). It is not me that feeds and perfects my new nature, it is the Holy Spirit who Jesus asked the Father to send me that does the work of transformation, but I have to release Him to do the work by surrender (dying) and submission (obedience). Only then will I have the profound love of God that leads me to profound love of others. Lord knows I am not there yet, but I know I will get there because He says so.